Little Things, Big Impact-Marriage

I have a long list (literally) of things that I need/want to write posts about today to get caught up but, then some things happened this morning that really got me thinking. As you all know, my son has been having trouble sleeping off and on for the last month or two. This has made for long nights for momma and everybody knows what long nights and long days for momma means, right? Yep, crankiness. It's true...I have been exhausted and a bit (ahem, probably more than a bit) on edge lately. On top of long nights, I am still working my full time job (which I love) along with running the Etsy shop and also, have been hired on to liquidate a home FULL of furniture and misc things. F. U. L. L., peeps. Needless to say, I have been feeling spread a bit thin and also, frustrated with myself because I have not been able to get as much accomplished which each thing as I would like to. Now, I LOVE being busy...especially when it is something that I am busy with something I truly enjoy like busy taking care of my family or selling vintage. However, you have to have a system to make it all work and sometimes, even though I think I am superwoman, I can't do it all.

As you all know, I am married to a darling husband. He really is great. But, marriage is hard work. Just like anything else, you get out of it what you put into it. There are many variations of the "grass is greener on the other side quote.." but, recently I read one that said this:

"The grass is greener on the other side because they take better care of it" 

(source unknown...if this came from your site or you know who said it, PLEASE let me know so I can give you credit where credit is due)

Lately, my marriage has NOT been #1 on my priority list...or #2 or even #5...we have just been "existing". And, dear husband, has been existing with someone who has been less than ideal to "exist" around. It really hit me on Halloween night when I was scrambling to get the dinner dishes washed so I could get the cookie decorating started and husband asked me a random questions about a piece of jewelry I had sitting by the sink. All he asked was how to open it. At that moment, I was irritated. SO stupid, I know. I was irritated because couldn't he see that my hands and arms were wet and covered with soap and that bangle didn't have anything to do with what I was doing at that moment and basically "how dare he expect me to stop what I was doing, dry my hands, and show him how to open it" when really, he didn't expect me to do that. He just asked a question. Looking back I realize how completely ridiculous it was and how ashamed I am of myself for letting something as small as that get to me. That's when I realized that I had let things get too crazy and I was NOT Superwoman at all. 

Something else to know about husband and I is we are on opposite schedules. Husband has to do computer work late at night pretty often and he is accustomed to being a night owl. I am a granny who likes to be in bed basically before 9 pm. So, he stays up late and sleeps in and I go to bed early and get up really early...most of the time...except this morning. After a long week of not much sleep and staying up too late again last night (my fault), I overslept. I woke up and in my mind, I panicked. I had about 20 minutes to get myself ready for work, get Finn ready for school, and get out the door. I hurried out of bed and got my contacts in then proceeded to go zap yesterday's coffee (gross but, it's the truth when you are in a hurry!) and then something happened.....husband got up. Without saying a word, he went and woke Finn up, took him potty, got him dressed for school, and brushed his hair. Now, I know to some of you this may not seem like that big of a deal...but, to me, it was HUGE . I would be lying if I said I was not tearing up even now as I type this. That simple act of him helping me out this morning meant I was not late to work, no one was snappy or rushed (ahem..me), I had time to help Finn pick a toy to play with this morning at school (our daily routine unless we are running late). It was the BIGGEST help I could have ever asked for...and even more, I didn't have to ask for it. 

My point of telling you all of this is several things:

First, even when you think you can do everything, you probably can't. Maybe you CAN physically get them done but, not without it taking a toll on other areas of your life...even when you don't realize it. 

Second, always be sure to take care of each other. A marriage is a team. No one person can do it alone even though they try really hard to. Yesterday, it was late and I was unloading some things from my car and husband said "is there any way I can help you?" and even though at that moment, I didn't need help, it was the fact that he took the time to ask that got my attention. He also put Finn's jammies on while I changed my clothes. Again, something small but, such a BIG help to make our household run smoother. 

Third, if you feel like your marriage is strained or you find yourself feeling a bit blue, ask yourself if you are taking care of your grass. It is easy to get frustrated with each other and, dare I even say it, it's easy to focus on what the other person isn't doing instead of what YOU yourself aren't doing. Ree Drummond, the Pioneer Woman explained it really well when she said that marriage is not 50/50..it should be 100/100. If you both give 100% all the time, then when the other person isn't feeling their best/having the best day, etc..you are right there by their side to help them. Someone is always giving 100%.  Everyone is human, everyone has bad days, everyone needs help. 

There are lots of other things that can help a household be the best that it can be but, I really wanted to focus on a few points today. I think marriage is like being a parent...it's sometimes trying, sometimes exhausting but, always amazing....you just need a little extra elbow grease sometimes. 

Also, dear husband, thank you so much for all of your extra efforts last night and this morning to make my life easier. It really, really helped me more than I could ever express and I feel like a new person today. I really appreciate you. Love-Lo

The Number 30...

Things have been a little quiet on the ol' blog here for a little bit and I don't really have a reason why! Just everyday this and that I suppose! While I need to recap what we have been doing, this post won't be that....because, you see, 

today is my birthday! 

Not just any old birthday (although, no birthday is any old birthday because EVERY birthday deserves a week long celebration....) but, today I am 30 and 30 is going to be a good year. I remember when I was in my early 20's and I thought 30 sounded SO old and I wondered if I would struggle with turning 30 like some  have....but instead of being sad or worrying about losing "my youth" or something crazy like that.....I am excited! Over the past few years there have been so many changes (both for the good and for the bad) and here lately (as I have mentioned on here before) I have been doing some "soul searching"....who am I? Am I the person I want to be? Am I the mother I want to be? Also, I have been asking myself...where did "I" go? Like many mothers, I put my family first (for obvious reasons and this is not bad) but, so much so that I kind of lost myself along the way. I am always amazed at those moms who look impeccable with a newborn next to them but, I was not one of them....I am still not one of them because I put myself dead last. Something I have learned is there is a big difference between putting others first and putting yourself absolutely last. I always thought I was being selfish if I did something for myself.....like spend money on clothing or getting my hair done, taking time away from my family for "me" time, etc. 

And I WAS WRONG....

After 3 years of putting myself last, I realized something. It's okay to do things for yourself once in a while...it's okay to take a minute to care how I look and it's okay to ask husband to stay home with Finny while he naps so that I can go do something by myself. It doesn't make me a bad mother and it doesn't make me a bad wife.....I am finally learning that it actually makes me a better mother and wife to take a moment to decompress every once in a while. With those thoughts in mind, I have decided to make a list of goals for my 30th year....30 things about myself that I would like to either improve or put more focus on. 

30 Goals For 30:

1) Get organized...I am listing this one first because I made a list of 30 things and then proceeded to lose it....which is why I need to get organized. I am a big believer in "To Do" lists and jotting down things I want to remember which is great...unless you lose them...ahem.

2) Exercise at least three times a week...I used to be one of "those people" you know the ones...that work out 6 days a week and I LOVED it. There is nothing better (for me at least) on a bad day then a good workout or a long run. Trouble is I stopped making the time for it and started feeling AWFUL both physically and emotionally so enough is enough.

3) Dress like I care.....it's not that I didn't care before but, I got into the bad habit of just wearing the same old stuff all the time...I am definitely not saying that I need to buy a lot of new clothes but I AM saying that it's okay to take a few minutes and change things up a little bit and try to put a little more effort into what I look like.

4) Pray more. No explanation needed there. God is my A #1 and I need to take a few more minutes out of every day to let Him know that. 

5) Cook more. I LOVE to cook but, I never do anymore. We go out to eat A LOT and I am really burned out on it...not to mention the effect it has on my waist line and bank account! For me, there is a lot of pride in making something tasty and healthy for my family. 

6) Eat less processed food.....goes along with #5. You are what you eat!

7) Write more real letters. In a day and age where everything is instant and electronic, "real" mail is almost a thing of the past.....which is a shame. I love writing and receiving cards and letters and really want to make an effort to do this more. 

8) Housekeeping- our house is never sloppy or messy however, it would be nice to get in the habit of doing a few more chores everyday so that I have more "play" time on the weekends. :)

9) See a dermatologist-adult acne and extreme dry skin/psoriasis and I will no longer be friends anymore....you hear me skin? I am getting you in check. 

10) Start a savings account and "pay myself" out of every check-this should have been number one. We are not prepared for emergencies and it causes me quite a bit of anxiety and stress. There is no better time than now to get some money set aside and some debt paid off. 

11) Speaking of anxiety-My name is Lauren and I am socially awkward. I really struggle with social anxiety and am a hermit. Which is especially bad because my husband is very, very social. I am going to really try to be better about meeting new people and getting out of the house more. To be honest, this makes me sweat just thinking about it! Just being honest here....

12) The glass is half full-find and focus on the beauty in all situations. Negative thoughts are like junk food and a bad summer cold. They are contagious, they make you feel terrible, and they can ruin your day pretty quick. I want to remember to focus only on the good in each day as much as possible and ignore the rest. 

13) Stick with "Think before you speak" but, then remember to actually speak-I am the "peacemaker"..the one who never, ever wants to rock the boat which means I tend to keep things to myself. While sometimes this is a good thing, it can also be very bad. It is okay to speak up for yourself as long you do it in a positive way. It is not okay to let yourself get run over for the good of someone else. Repeat after me "this is NOT okay"

14) Read more. I read a lot with my son. We LOVE to read together. I just don't read a lot for myself. I really enjoy it but it is also one of those things that I don't make time for. 

15) Unplug. Put down the cell phone, get off of the computer, and go outside. Seems like we are always focused on our phones, etc. I have one word for that: Yuck. There is a time and a place for everything and the time for checking your phone is not when we are on a date, spending family time, etc. Focus on today before today is gone....you don't get that time back. There is nothing on my phone that is worth missing anything for. 

16) Blog more. Ha! Kind of ironic that I am mentioning this after #15 but, I am in the position to be able to post at times that aren't "family time" so this is a little different. I enjoy blogging and would love to get better at it

17) Get the house decorated. We have been in our house for almost a year and it feels very "undone". I would really like to work on this a little bit more all while sticking to my saving money goal....time to get creative!! 

18) Dust the cob webs off of my German books. Before I ever had my son, I always said I wanted my children to grow up somewhat bilingual. If nothing else but to expand their learning styles a bit more, teach them some culture, etc. While I am in no way fluent in German (we all know I sometimes struggle with English..hello run on sentences!!), I do know the basics and would love to learn more.

19) Make some art. Take the ideas I have jotted down (and hopefully held on to) and make them happen. 

20) Fire myself-I am my own worst critic...I think a lot of people have this problem. This goes along with the "thinking more positively" but, I need to learn to accept a compliment and not reply with something I smudged while painting, didn't season right, etc. Learn to say "thank you" and smile :) People don't say nice things to pad your ego...they say them because they mean them (unless they don't and then, well, I don't know what to say about those people)

21) Wash my face every single day before bed...I know, I know....I hear you chuckling and looking back at #9 and saying "well, duh!" I promise you that a few missed face washes are not the only culprit behind my skin woes. It's partly genetic and partly because I have yet to find the skin care regimen that works best for me. 

22) Take more pictures. This is a BIG one. I don't take enough pictures and I never want to forget all the great things that happen everyday. Husband and I have discussed getting a good camera and that will something that I start saving for once we have a good emergency fund set aside. 

23) Try and do more with Veda Marie's. I love having an Etsy store and would like to learn more about making it successful. 

24) Do more as a family. Picnics, trips to the playground, going for walks.....I would love to do more things with husband and son. (this goes along with unplugging, etc) 

25) Clean out the "office". Finish the projects I have started in there before I start anything else. 

26) Find myself...not in the mid life crisis sort of way because that is nowhere NEAR where I am. I just feel like I put myself dead last for so long that sometimes I can't remember what I like. This may sound silly to some but, it is true. You "ignore" your own identity for long enough and you will turn around one day and it will be gone. I have been working on an "inspiration board" to put up things I like or that make me smile 

27) Volunteer. This does not need an explanation....

28) Clean out my closet. I have some clothes that I never wear because they either don't fit or I don't exactly know how to wear them. For whatever the reason, I have kept them with the idea that I might wear them someday but really they are just taking up space. My goal is to go through my closet and try on every item I own. If it doesn't fit or I don't "know how to wear it", donate it. There is no reason for things to hang in my closet unworn when someone else would love to have them.

29) Learn what things really matter....and what doesn't. This applies to so many things in my life. It is easy to get caught up in the little things sometime and 99% of the time, they don't really matter and are not worth your time or your tears. 

30) Laugh more: laughter is the best medicine.....and if that doesn't work, go for a run. :)

I know my original list may have been slightly different than this one and it makes me frustrated that I misplaced it. Even more reason to regroup! There are probably many, many more things that I could list here but, one step at a time, right? 

All I know is, 30 I am so ready for you.

For Cindy, SuperTy's SuperMomma

Today is Super Ty's momma's birthday. Instead of birthday wishes, she asked that people share his story. You all know that I have shared it here before but, if you have not taken the time to go read it or if you don't have more than 15 seconds, please say a quick thought of prayer for them today...especially for Cindy. She has fought (and continues to fight) against horrible, terrible cancer for her son. Her first born. Her baby. Only God truly knows how much longer their battle will be but, I do know that her battle will live on until one day when her and Ty are both in heaven without cancer, without pain, without medicine, without crankiness caused by steroids, without sadness, and without tears. 

Please take a minute to go read their story. If anything, go look at the photo she posted of Ty this weekend smiling so big! So brave! 

1st Haircut

Last night, my baby boy got his very first hair cut ever.

 EVER. 

I have never even trimmed one single strand of those beautiful white blonde curls. We have always smiled and nodded (and chuckled) when people called him a little girl...and remember the bullying incident because of the ponytail? Whoops! Finn has always said he likes his long hair and never mentioned really WANTING it cut....until recently. He started asking for a haircut...not just any hair cut but he wanted to "get spiky hair, momma" like a little boy in his class. I put that thought in the back of my mind and then again yesterday, when I picked him up from school, he looked at a photo on the Rhea Lana's flyer we got and brought it up again. With bright eyes, he looked at me and said "momma, I want spiky hair like him" in the most serious 3 year old tone. We talked for a minute about how we would have to have our baths in the morning now so we could fix our hair, how it would be really short, etc. He was adamant about "getting spiky hair from the spiky hair store". I asked him when he wanted to go get a haircut and he said "Now". This was serious business, you guys! Off we went.......(after I washed his hair because the major downfall to that head of long curls was the HEAT...bless his heart...he was SO hot all the time :/ )

Those of you that know me know that I no longer have a regular hairdresser. I was dedicated to a fabulous lady (by dedicated, I mean, the 2 times a year I used to get my haircut/colored, she was the ONLY one who could do it....) but, I had Finn and spending money on those kinds of things was no longer an option so my hair was placed very far on the justifiable spending list. I have gotten the occasional "so so" walk in haircut and then let it grow several times.....then the last time I got my hair cut, I went to a different walk in place and got a really good haircut! We went to the Supercuts and even though it wasn't the same person who gave me the great cut, we were really AMAZED at how great of a job she did. Her name was Chiree and she will officially always be cutting Finn's hair. I couldn't speak more highly of how good she was with him and how great of a job she did!!

Now, on to pictures!! 

Before: 

While I LOVED my baby's long curls, they were unruly 98% of the time. Humidity, little boy activity, plus naps made it kind of a mess :/

Long hair combed walking into the salon...he was so excited I could not get him to stand still enough for me to get a good photo!!

Bye, bye, curls....Kept the first curl to save ;)

Such a big boy! Did not move or shed a tear! He was mesmerized watching her cut it in the mirror...

At this point, he held his hands up to his hair in the shape of a point and asked if it was going to "get spiky"!!

Finished!!! 

Of course, we had to go show it off to husband's family!

Grown up hair? check..Big boy scraped elbow? check.

Wiped out after all the excitement :) Oh yeah, and daddy got his haircut "spiky" too :) Husband, I love you and I love how you always want to match Finny

Little things...

(As I mentioned before, I will be doing some posts about things that make me happy/unhappy modeled after posts I enjoy reading by Brandilyn on Cats and Cardigans)

Things that make me happy this week:

New projects in the future with my shop. (Remember my shop? I haven't talked about it much on here but I have been busy!! There are around 100 items currently for sale! I plan on featuring more of those items on this blog as well as some things I have my fingers crossed about!)

Successful recipes and new recipes to try in the future

Toddler snuggles

Having husband around the house with us for 99% of the time Saturday and Sunday (!!)

Miller has a new sister!!!!!!!!!!! The Woodruff family welcomed a sweet baby girl, Mattie McNeil, into the world on Monday! Congratulations!!! <3 

Things that make me less than happy this week:

Ty Louis Campbell. Please go read his story. Please pray for him and his family. If you live close to them, please go give his sweet momma a hug from me. I know I have said this before but their battle is long from over and every tiny thought helps. I have never lost a child. My child has never battled a major disease. I know or know of people who have but, as much as I would like to think I can sympathize, I know that my aching heart for them and for what they have been through in no way compares to what they are feeling. 

This list ends there. As much as I would like to complain more about my "terrible threes" or the fact that my child hasn't been sleeping through the night, I can't. My "problems' are so trivial compared to what others are facing. As weird as it may seem to constantly think about someone you don't really "know", my thoughts have been filled with this family. I have been meaning to write about the recipes I mentioned or about silly things happening in our home and I just haven't. I promise to get back to posting about the other things but, just wanted to mention them again because they have been on my mind so much.

Guys...

This post is going to be all over the place but, to be really honest, that's how my brain is feeling right now so I am just going to go with it! Feel free to leave now....or to get a good cup of coffee and read away!

First off, allergies/end of summer head cold.....dude....go...go now...Finny and I are so through with you..k thanks

Second off.....one word....Bonefish!! I am so, so, so very excited to eat there this evening! Even MORE excited that I will be eating there to celebrate my sister's birthday (birthweek, if you will) with my girl's night girls (or GN as I like to call them....oh wait..have I not told you about these girls?? whew...post to follow)!! Dear aforementioned sickness, Please allow me to taste my yummy ahi tuna. That would be greaaaaaaaat. Love, Lo.---Special note about Bonefish....husband and I ate there for the first time the night we got engaged....little did I know, my STUNNING engagement ring was in his blazer pocket at that time! (oh wait...have I not told you our engagement story? well, geeeeez louise, what do I even talk about on here?? post to follow...). We ate there again in May of this year to celebrate our "1 year engagement/2 year dating" anniversary...we love celebrating anniversaries :) and I love husband for loving to celebrate them with me.

Third off.....well, I don't really have a "third off" because it sounds like I have some other posts to get to work on! Although, maybe not right now.....I have a date with my little one and a group of FABULOUS women <3

A few little things...

A few weeks ago, I emailed the lovely Brandilyn Haynes, from Cats and Cardigans, to not only tell her how much I enjoy her blog but, to also ask her how she felt about me "borrowing" an idea for a post that she had done several times (a post on things that she is grateful for). I didn't really expect a response back but, I knew I didn't want to proceed without reaching out to her first. Well, she not only emailed me back but was also incredibly kind! That lady gets an A++ in my book! So, once a week, I would like to start just jotting down the things I am grateful for or things that make me happy (yes, I know, I know.....but, you hardly post once a week so does that mean these will be the only posts you do?! no, no..I am working on doing better about that!). Here it goes!

Things that make me happy this week:

Happy Anniversary, husband!! 

Lunch and dinner date in one day with Husband for above! Greek food here AND salmon kabobs here in one day?! yes, please!

the not one, but TWO bouquets of flowers husband got me....holy moly! 

Happy birthday, sister!! My lovely and amazing older sister and celebrating a birthday today! <3 

Getting to take my sister lunch and presents at her shop today to celebrate! um, I may or may not share a similar strong love of Greek food with my sister....and we may or may not have had that for lunch today...two times in three days is too much, you say? Fuh-gettaboutit! PS..if you live in NWA, go getcha some Kosmo's....like right now. man, oh, man...moving on

Having son make a birthday video singing happy birthday to said sister and all the comedic moments that may have included. best. video. ever. watch out, hallmark! 

Spending the weekend working on something that must remain nameless until a later date.....I may or may not have stayed in my pajamas and glasses most of the weekend working away but, it was totally worth it....sorry, husband! 

Laughter....so much of it already and it's only Wednesday! 

Things that made me less than happy this week:

Bullies.....at daycare. yes, this does happen and no, it is not the first time. Sets a very good example to my Finny on the difference between right and wrong and makes me hope he always tries to do the right thing. 

Choosing my tallest heels on a day when I have to power walk/sprint through the mall to get strawberry gummies (for sister's birthday) and chinese take out for husband.....I may or may not have dropped my phone then almost tripped on my own shoe in about ten feet. flats, lo lo, flats...

discovering I start every sentence with "so..", "well," or "may or may not have"......the publishers are lined up over here, folks...lined up, I say! 

That's all! Hope everyone is having a fantastic week! 

One Year Ago Today...

One year ago today, I did this....

random string removed? check (thank you, sister!)....beautiful sash that went with my dress...no check!! whoops :/ 

to get ready to do this....

walk down to this guy...

so we could do this...

where we stood before our Lord and Savior...

to become this...

because from the moment I met you, you made me do this...

so we became this...

a family...

From our very first official "date" where I met your parents (and somehow didn't die of a heart attack)...

to the first night you told me you loved me...

from goofy glasses...

to engagement announcements in the paper...

you have always been right there by my side....just like our vows...for better or worse..in good times and in the bad...in sickness and in health. I love you, dear husband. I couldn't think of a better person to be my everything. 

Happy Anniversary <3

Weekend/Week Wrap-up

Whew, Thursday already!! Time has just been FLYING by.....so, here is a quick run down of what we have been up to....

•  (oh, the bullets....so professional? so cheesy? so something?) Friday night, I baked some cupcakes for my friend's husband's birthday. Because I had to be up early Saturday morning, I had to bake these Friday night and then ice them Saturday right before she picked them up
• why did I have to be up early Saturday morning? To run my second 5k....and it went GREAT! For several reasons...first off, it wasn't 4 bazillion degrees this time...it was actually, dare I say, brisk? chilly, even? Second, because I set small goals for myself (sometimes..more on that later). For my first 5k, I just wanted to finish...I didn't even care if I had to stop and walk once in a while...just wanted to finish. (Yes, I did have to stop and walk a couple of times...I have said before (maybe to you guys?) that I am not a runner....I would like to be and am working my way there but definitely not winning any medals over here!). This time, I set two goals: 1) To run the whole time and 2) To beat my time from before......and I did! I only stopped one time for a few seconds to tie my shoe (lesson learned to double knot your laces) and finished a full 3 minutes and 12 seconds faster then before. I will take that, ladies and gents...sure will.
• Saturday, Husband's parents wanted to keep Finn overnight so Husband and I got to have an impromptu (and much needed) date night! We had dinner at Mimi's, played a round of putt putt, went to Dairy Queen for some ice cream, and then went home and stayed up way too late watching tv shows on Netflix. 
• Sunday, I got a wild hair to redo my house....namely, the spare bedroom/office "situation" (yes, it was a messy situation) and Son's room. Being the beginner blogger that I am....I didn't take before pictures.....um, what?!! whoops :( BUT, I promise to take some good photos of the finished product this weekend and share them! Separate post on what all I did to follow......REALLY wish I would have taken those pictures!
• Sunday evening, we went to water the grandparents horses and feed their fish so we went back to Dairy Queen for a cheeseburger.....remember me eating healthy? yeah, not all the time...sometimes after a long day of painting/scrubbing/moving, etc, a girl's just HAS to have a burger...right? ;)

So, that's about it! This week we have just been workin, schoolin, shippin some things for the Etsy store (remember that? yep, she's still going strong!, plus, a church swim party last night and Son is off of "school" today for a day with his Aunt K before she starts back to college...whew! Already been kind of a long week (for us, at least)

Hope everybody is doing great and having a terrific week! 

Happy 3rd Birthday!!

You are so very beautiful, sweet baby boy <3

BEYOND excited about that balloon!!

So handsome!

You are such a ham! This is what 99% of momma's photos look like....you never stop laughing! 

3 years ago today...

....I met you face to face. I was already consumed with a love for you that can only be expressed from one momma to another. I remember the moment I found out I was pregnant. I remember crazy months following that moment and how glad I was that you were safe in my tummy while I got life in order to start over on this new road ahead. oh, how I LOVED carrying you in my tummy. I must have looked so funny just walking around smiling all the time knowing you were there...every movement was such a blessing. I looked forward to the evenings when I could be off my feet from a long day at work and just lay in bed and watch you move. I loved playing with you then just as I do now. I remember the long days leading up to when you would get here...I was so ready...a stunning and beyond generous baby shower girls night threw you to get your momma ready with everything I could ever need and more...my bag packed by the door a month before you were due to arrive...and a good thing too! Because you did not wait a month to get here! I remember that feeling the morning I woke up and something just was not right...little did I know the adventure that lied ahead or that I would be rushing to the hospital that very evening...two weeks early. I remember the flood of tears when they wheeled me back to the OR...fear, exhaustion, excitement....I could not stop them....until you were here and I heard you cry...then they brought you around to my face and I spoke to you and you stopped crying and just looked at me. I will never forget that face...you recognized my voice after months and months of talking to you and singing to you. Groggy from medication they wheeled me to recovery and took you to be examined. You needed help, dear baby....something was not right. The next three weeks were the longest three weeks of our lives...but I thank God every single day that it was only three weeks. It was so hard to go home without you but I am eternally grateful you did get to come home. So many of your "roommates" in the NICU had been there for so long....or shudder to think of the alternative. We are so blessed, little baby boy. So very lucky. Momma will never forget those moments.....those things we went through....I will never forget your drs or nurses. As three years have gone by and I have watched you learn so much and grow into the little man you are today, I can't help but be overcome by emotion. I am SO proud of you. SO very proud of your hard work and of the little person you are becoming. And though there are times you test me, I am still in awe of you....watching you discover new things everyday and watching your brain work. You are so smart, dear baby boy...you will do great things..I just know it. God has big plans for you, my dear.

To say I love you, dear Finnley, is such an understatement..."Love" alone does not express what you are to me. You gave me a purpose....I used to thing that God blessed me when He saved me from my own little hospital adventure when I was young but no, that was not it....that was nothing compared to Him giving me you. 

Happy, happy, happy birthday, my little Finny Berliny <3

*believe it or not, but this was definitely the short version! 

Photo Life

Last week in (a few) pictures....

um, Husband, you may need a new caddy...this one might be too slow for the job...

Finn made this for me at school <3

Ever seen a cactus in bloom? That flower will only last a day or maybe two at the most and then it is gone. Such a beautiful thing to get to see.....fun fact: Husband got this cactus from someone at school when he was in the second grade...AGE 7!! and his grandma kept it alive for 20 of the past 21 years and then she gave it to me because I am absolutely in love with them....the cactii...well, and my family too but you know what I mean)  

Whew!

Goodness! Is it Thursday already?? My how the time flies! Although looking back I can't really pinpoint a bazillion things we have done but the past week sure has felt busy!! so, let's see...what have we been up to?

*Friday night I attended Husband's ten year high school reunion. Because I moved my senior year, I did not attend my own ten year reunion, ahem, several years ago (yes, I am the oldest one in our house unless you count my treasures..) so I really had no idea what to expect but we had a great time and I got to hear some funny stories about Husband growing up. Always entertaining!!

*Saturday Husband joined us on our normal shopping trip but this time we made a stop at Sam's! It was husband's idea and man, am I glad we did! We only bought things that we would absolutely use in a normal period of time but I am SO glad that he suggested we go there. As a momma who is always trying to stretch every dollar, I was super excited to be able to stock up on lots of items we use on a daily basis...especially meat items. We are carnivores in my house. We eat meat at pretty much every meal and it can get pretty expensive so i was super happy to be able to buy chicken, tenderloin, beef, lunch meat, heck, even some STEAKS (!!-which would normally be a splurge but husband deserves a steak when he wants one (as I said a quiet prayer or two that I wouldn't ruin it like I have done in the past :/ ) etc that can be used in the coming week or frozen for a later date. Saved a TON of money in the long run which, I will admit, makes this momma VERY happy!

* Saturday afternoon we had TWO birthday parties...back to back. We made it through 75% of the second one before having a giant melt down and having to sneak out the back. I will be the first to admit that I am not a perfect parent and my baby is not, in fact, one of those kids who is perfect 100% of the time. I am very blessed and he is very, very well behaved but just like his momma....when you get tired/hot/hungry...good Lord, y'all better watch out! Hey, what can I say....he comes by it honest!

* Sunday we held an impromptu dinner for Husband's parents and grandparents. I made turkey breast tenderloins, homemade mashed potatoes, oven roasted vegetables, salad, crescent rolls, cookies, and ice cream sundaes for dessert. My cooking prayers for the evening were answered and everything turned out great (whew-I always worry how my cooking will turn out and even more so when it is for his family). I feel like any time I get asked how I cooked something that means it was a success!

*Monday night I remade the stroganoff recipe but with egg noodles this time and it was tasty!

*Tuesday night Husband had a friend over for dinner and I said another kitchen prayer and made steaks and chicken on the grill along with more homemade mashed potatoes (Granny would be so proud!) and roasted vegetables, crescent rolls, etc with fruit and ice cream for dessert. I don't like to pat myself on the back much (I really don't!) but the guys were VERY happy with their steaks and neither of the rib eyes ended up looking like beef jerky! Whew again!

*Wednesday night we rode in the golf cart with Husband while he played 9 holes with his aunt, uncle, and mom.

*Tonight my normal Thursday night Girl's Night got canceled so, I kid you not, I am not doing anything!! haha Actually, that isn't true...I have a new homemade pasta recipe to try (gonna make a big pot and freeze it for future meals) and also, a chocolate chip recipe (I have about 10 recipes for chocolate chip cookies but have yet to find THE ONE) to try......and do some dishes. We are very exciting around these parts ;)

Hope everyone has had a terrific week! <3

Photo Life

Our life according to my iphone...

I planted these...more on that later...

I made this....more on that later because somehow I didn't get an "after" picture taken...

Son did a little of this....thank goodness he wasn't really driving because he surely couldn't see anything with his hat like that! Also, we spent the weekend with pink eye....also more on that later...

We ate fruit bars outside....in his pull up, of course, because a) it's hot and b) it's summer and that is just what you do around these parts!

Still "mastering" eating it before it gets "dwippy"

every activity is a new adventure <3

Photo Life-Weekend Recap

A few snaps from last weekend:

Headed on a very mini family road trip to Eureka Springs!

oh, hi, husband!

wait...um, what? 

Dear Eureka Springs, This is not at all what I had in mind to see when I visited you for the "Art Walk" Sincerely, Me

This is George. He was a weekend guest at our casa. More on him later on........maybe

This is turtle. He was also a weekend guest at our casa. Huh?

So, there you have it! My weekend!

Photo Life

This last week/weekend daddy was on a business trip in Florida so Finny and I spent every moment we could together and just enjoyed some great Mommy/Son time. I didn't make fancy dinners, I didn't clean anything unless he was napping, I did nothing except snuggle that baby until he was tired of mommy being his shadow and we had to get out of the house for a minute.....I thought that didn't happen until the teenage years?? ;) 

Sending a photo to Daddy in FL (see our finished paintings behind him? He LOVES to paint!)

Right before I needed to get him dressed and head to a birthday party....needless to say, that sleepy man didn't last long at the party! Happy birthday, Winnie!! <3

Taking a milk break at Fayetteville Farmer's Market

At the Farmer's Market with our "Donda" (my lovely mother-in-law)..too much excitement to cheese for this photo!

Mommy's Day

What Mother's Day was for me....

Art projects

Flowers

Playing Candy Land

My baby grew this for me at school...so proud!!! (for those of you that know me, the only thing I have ever successfully grown has been my sweet baby and my pants size..however, this little gem has STAYED ALIVE since Friday....3 days and counting.....)

Living coloring book...

ta-daa!!

God bless this sweet baby....the very best Mother's Day "gift" ever <3

(See those flowers on there shelf there? Husband got them for me...I need to throw them out because they are wilted...but I don't want to...not yet, at least)