The Number 30...

Things have been a little quiet on the ol' blog here for a little bit and I don't really have a reason why! Just everyday this and that I suppose! While I need to recap what we have been doing, this post won't be that....because, you see, 

today is my birthday! 

Not just any old birthday (although, no birthday is any old birthday because EVERY birthday deserves a week long celebration....) but, today I am 30 and 30 is going to be a good year. I remember when I was in my early 20's and I thought 30 sounded SO old and I wondered if I would struggle with turning 30 like some  have....but instead of being sad or worrying about losing "my youth" or something crazy like that.....I am excited! Over the past few years there have been so many changes (both for the good and for the bad) and here lately (as I have mentioned on here before) I have been doing some "soul searching"....who am I? Am I the person I want to be? Am I the mother I want to be? Also, I have been asking myself...where did "I" go? Like many mothers, I put my family first (for obvious reasons and this is not bad) but, so much so that I kind of lost myself along the way. I am always amazed at those moms who look impeccable with a newborn next to them but, I was not one of them....I am still not one of them because I put myself dead last. Something I have learned is there is a big difference between putting others first and putting yourself absolutely last. I always thought I was being selfish if I did something for myself.....like spend money on clothing or getting my hair done, taking time away from my family for "me" time, etc. 

And I WAS WRONG....

After 3 years of putting myself last, I realized something. It's okay to do things for yourself once in a while...it's okay to take a minute to care how I look and it's okay to ask husband to stay home with Finny while he naps so that I can go do something by myself. It doesn't make me a bad mother and it doesn't make me a bad wife.....I am finally learning that it actually makes me a better mother and wife to take a moment to decompress every once in a while. With those thoughts in mind, I have decided to make a list of goals for my 30th year....30 things about myself that I would like to either improve or put more focus on. 

30 Goals For 30:

1) Get organized...I am listing this one first because I made a list of 30 things and then proceeded to lose it....which is why I need to get organized. I am a big believer in "To Do" lists and jotting down things I want to remember which is great...unless you lose them...ahem.

2) Exercise at least three times a week...I used to be one of "those people" you know the ones...that work out 6 days a week and I LOVED it. There is nothing better (for me at least) on a bad day then a good workout or a long run. Trouble is I stopped making the time for it and started feeling AWFUL both physically and emotionally so enough is enough.

3) Dress like I care.....it's not that I didn't care before but, I got into the bad habit of just wearing the same old stuff all the time...I am definitely not saying that I need to buy a lot of new clothes but I AM saying that it's okay to take a few minutes and change things up a little bit and try to put a little more effort into what I look like.

4) Pray more. No explanation needed there. God is my A #1 and I need to take a few more minutes out of every day to let Him know that. 

5) Cook more. I LOVE to cook but, I never do anymore. We go out to eat A LOT and I am really burned out on it...not to mention the effect it has on my waist line and bank account! For me, there is a lot of pride in making something tasty and healthy for my family. 

6) Eat less processed food.....goes along with #5. You are what you eat!

7) Write more real letters. In a day and age where everything is instant and electronic, "real" mail is almost a thing of the past.....which is a shame. I love writing and receiving cards and letters and really want to make an effort to do this more. 

8) Housekeeping- our house is never sloppy or messy however, it would be nice to get in the habit of doing a few more chores everyday so that I have more "play" time on the weekends. :)

9) See a dermatologist-adult acne and extreme dry skin/psoriasis and I will no longer be friends anymore....you hear me skin? I am getting you in check. 

10) Start a savings account and "pay myself" out of every check-this should have been number one. We are not prepared for emergencies and it causes me quite a bit of anxiety and stress. There is no better time than now to get some money set aside and some debt paid off. 

11) Speaking of anxiety-My name is Lauren and I am socially awkward. I really struggle with social anxiety and am a hermit. Which is especially bad because my husband is very, very social. I am going to really try to be better about meeting new people and getting out of the house more. To be honest, this makes me sweat just thinking about it! Just being honest here....

12) The glass is half full-find and focus on the beauty in all situations. Negative thoughts are like junk food and a bad summer cold. They are contagious, they make you feel terrible, and they can ruin your day pretty quick. I want to remember to focus only on the good in each day as much as possible and ignore the rest. 

13) Stick with "Think before you speak" but, then remember to actually speak-I am the "peacemaker"..the one who never, ever wants to rock the boat which means I tend to keep things to myself. While sometimes this is a good thing, it can also be very bad. It is okay to speak up for yourself as long you do it in a positive way. It is not okay to let yourself get run over for the good of someone else. Repeat after me "this is NOT okay"

14) Read more. I read a lot with my son. We LOVE to read together. I just don't read a lot for myself. I really enjoy it but it is also one of those things that I don't make time for. 

15) Unplug. Put down the cell phone, get off of the computer, and go outside. Seems like we are always focused on our phones, etc. I have one word for that: Yuck. There is a time and a place for everything and the time for checking your phone is not when we are on a date, spending family time, etc. Focus on today before today is gone....you don't get that time back. There is nothing on my phone that is worth missing anything for. 

16) Blog more. Ha! Kind of ironic that I am mentioning this after #15 but, I am in the position to be able to post at times that aren't "family time" so this is a little different. I enjoy blogging and would love to get better at it

17) Get the house decorated. We have been in our house for almost a year and it feels very "undone". I would really like to work on this a little bit more all while sticking to my saving money goal....time to get creative!! 

18) Dust the cob webs off of my German books. Before I ever had my son, I always said I wanted my children to grow up somewhat bilingual. If nothing else but to expand their learning styles a bit more, teach them some culture, etc. While I am in no way fluent in German (we all know I sometimes struggle with English..hello run on sentences!!), I do know the basics and would love to learn more.

19) Make some art. Take the ideas I have jotted down (and hopefully held on to) and make them happen. 

20) Fire myself-I am my own worst critic...I think a lot of people have this problem. This goes along with the "thinking more positively" but, I need to learn to accept a compliment and not reply with something I smudged while painting, didn't season right, etc. Learn to say "thank you" and smile :) People don't say nice things to pad your ego...they say them because they mean them (unless they don't and then, well, I don't know what to say about those people)

21) Wash my face every single day before bed...I know, I know....I hear you chuckling and looking back at #9 and saying "well, duh!" I promise you that a few missed face washes are not the only culprit behind my skin woes. It's partly genetic and partly because I have yet to find the skin care regimen that works best for me. 

22) Take more pictures. This is a BIG one. I don't take enough pictures and I never want to forget all the great things that happen everyday. Husband and I have discussed getting a good camera and that will something that I start saving for once we have a good emergency fund set aside. 

23) Try and do more with Veda Marie's. I love having an Etsy store and would like to learn more about making it successful. 

24) Do more as a family. Picnics, trips to the playground, going for walks.....I would love to do more things with husband and son. (this goes along with unplugging, etc) 

25) Clean out the "office". Finish the projects I have started in there before I start anything else. 

26) Find myself...not in the mid life crisis sort of way because that is nowhere NEAR where I am. I just feel like I put myself dead last for so long that sometimes I can't remember what I like. This may sound silly to some but, it is true. You "ignore" your own identity for long enough and you will turn around one day and it will be gone. I have been working on an "inspiration board" to put up things I like or that make me smile 

27) Volunteer. This does not need an explanation....

28) Clean out my closet. I have some clothes that I never wear because they either don't fit or I don't exactly know how to wear them. For whatever the reason, I have kept them with the idea that I might wear them someday but really they are just taking up space. My goal is to go through my closet and try on every item I own. If it doesn't fit or I don't "know how to wear it", donate it. There is no reason for things to hang in my closet unworn when someone else would love to have them.

29) Learn what things really matter....and what doesn't. This applies to so many things in my life. It is easy to get caught up in the little things sometime and 99% of the time, they don't really matter and are not worth your time or your tears. 

30) Laugh more: laughter is the best medicine.....and if that doesn't work, go for a run. :)

I know my original list may have been slightly different than this one and it makes me frustrated that I misplaced it. Even more reason to regroup! There are probably many, many more things that I could list here but, one step at a time, right? 

All I know is, 30 I am so ready for you.