....I met you face to face. I was already consumed with a love for you that can only be expressed from one momma to another. I remember the moment I found out I was pregnant. I remember crazy months following that moment and how glad I was that you were safe in my tummy while I got life in order to start over on this new road ahead. oh, how I LOVED carrying you in my tummy. I must have looked so funny just walking around smiling all the time knowing you were there...every movement was such a blessing. I looked forward to the evenings when I could be off my feet from a long day at work and just lay in bed and watch you move. I loved playing with you then just as I do now. I remember the long days leading up to when you would get here...I was so ready...a stunning and beyond generous baby shower girls night threw you to get your momma ready with everything I could ever need and more...my bag packed by the door a month before you were due to arrive...and a good thing too! Because you did not wait a month to get here! I remember that feeling the morning I woke up and something just was not right...little did I know the adventure that lied ahead or that I would be rushing to the hospital that very evening...two weeks early. I remember the flood of tears when they wheeled me back to the OR...fear, exhaustion, excitement....I could not stop them....until you were here and I heard you cry...then they brought you around to my face and I spoke to you and you stopped crying and just looked at me. I will never forget that face...you recognized my voice after months and months of talking to you and singing to you. Groggy from medication they wheeled me to recovery and took you to be examined. You needed help, dear baby....something was not right. The next three weeks were the longest three weeks of our lives...but I thank God every single day that it was only three weeks. It was so hard to go home without you but I am eternally grateful you did get to come home. So many of your "roommates" in the NICU had been there for so long....or shudder to think of the alternative. We are so blessed, little baby boy. So very lucky. Momma will never forget those moments.....those things we went through....I will never forget your drs or nurses. As three years have gone by and I have watched you learn so much and grow into the little man you are today, I can't help but be overcome by emotion. I am SO proud of you. SO very proud of your hard work and of the little person you are becoming. And though there are times you test me, I am still in awe of you....watching you discover new things everyday and watching your brain work. You are so smart, dear baby boy...you will do great things..I just know it. God has big plans for you, my dear.
To say I love you, dear Finnley, is such an understatement..."Love" alone does not express what you are to me. You gave me a purpose....I used to thing that God blessed me when He saved me from my own little hospital adventure when I was young but no, that was not it....that was nothing compared to Him giving me you.
Happy, happy, happy birthday, my little Finny Berliny <3
*believe it or not, but this was definitely the short version!
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