Some things I have learned....

Here are some things I have learned in the past week or so...

1) it is a terrible idea to eat a ton of cookies after riding in the car 5 hours and then standing in the hot, hot Texas heat....(yes, I know, duh, and yes, it is probably a bad idea to eat a ton of cookies in general but, what can I say??)

2) My child thrives on a schedule...I means THRIVES....and, I also mean, when he is not on a schedule, ohmygoodnesswhereismysweetboyandwhoreplacedhimwiththisscreamingkickingmessofaballoftears?! no amount of the quiet whisper voice, loud shouting, time outs, what not seem to be having any effect on his behavior....yes, also should be obvious but, still no....any advice would be great here....anything at all....

3) when my son is a hot mess, his mother is an even hotter mess and not in a good way....we are a whole house full of crankies and momma is losing her mind, ya'll.....don't believe me?? I went to the restroom after being at work for 2 hours and realized that my underwear were inside out....yes, that's too much information and yes, I think that "modest is hottest..don't talk about those things..shh what are you doing, lo??" but, I feel like that exactly sums up my level of frazzle right now.

4) it's okay to spend a little money on yourself...now, we are doing the "envelope system" and trying to save every penny to pay some things off, etc but, one of my envelopes had a little extra money and I am tired of wearing my "one pair of shorts that don't really fit but they are all I have" so I decided to splurge a little on myself. which brings me to #5

5) it is even more okay to spend a little money on yourself when you are able to buy two pairs of shorts, two pairs of trouser jeans, one pair of work slacks, a simple white tee, a polka dot chambray button down (for FREE via a credit from thredup.com...go shop there now because it's great!), and a pair of high end name brand jeans for.....wait for it.......$35. TOTAL. yes, I am patting myself on the back and yes, I consider spending $35 on myself a GIGANTIC splurge and yes, I am crazy but, that's old news....moving on....

6) this past week or two has been crazy 4th of july holiday, husband traveling, us traveling, upcoming birthday month, not enough sleep for any of us.... (crazy for us, I mean....could be much worse ahem, Grace..I would hug your neck daily if I could)

7) apparently, crazy is the word of the month on sesamccarty street...

8) God is good....He is good and reminding me lots of things and I am trying my very hardest to be the woman/wife/mother He wants me to be. I am not perfect and I mess up....a lot...LOT LOT LOT and I am a control freak. budget, scheduling, food, diet, everything....not good so I am trying to remember that I just need to put it all in His hands and everything will work out just fine. and, if it doesn't, it is because He has something different planned for our lives...so, I think I will just sit back and let Him drive....."I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.." Philippians 4:13

God is so good...

Just feel like I need to take a second and just jot down what I am thinking...God is so good. I could never list all of the blessings that God has given me throughout my life...it would be too long. I am incredibly fortunate to have the life I have but, like many other people, I get caught up in the day to day and really take things for granted. Recently, I have been trying to step back and really look at the big picture and the things that really matter and it opened my eyes to how great God is.

*I know someone who has been dealt less than ideal situations in their life and is really trying to make some changes for the better but, still has been facing some troubles. The other day they posted something on Facebook about needing better housing in a price range they could afford. (Side note-I am not a good prayer...I never have been but, I WANT to be. I felt like I never knew the "right thing to say" but, there is no "right thing to say". Just talk to God. Just tell him how you feel or what you are thinking and He will hear you). After reading this person's status, I just said a prayer that God would hear her cries for help and provide her sweet family with something that would work for them and not long after that, they posted that they had found a house! God heard their cries and provided for them!

*something that has been weighing on my heart pretty heavily lately has been tithing. We don't tithe...or, should I say, we didn't. My husband and I discussed it and he said if it something I am feeling called to do, then go for it. Our church is in the process of maybe moving locations and while it will be less rent in the long run, up front there will be some costs to renovate the possible new space. Since our pastor brought this up, I have REALLY been feeling a tug on my heart that we needed to start doing our part. I have really been trying to work on our budget lately and just felt like there was no money after the bills were paid, but there have been some changes and yesterday, after some prayer for guidance, I made the decision that we would start tithing immediately. I do not feel stressed about this at all. I just feel peace. Today, I reworked our budget just to see how things would fall into place and it is tight, but they did! (a few notes about this-we as a family and also my husband have made some decisions to change our spending and discontinue a few things that didn't make sense to have at this time but, would hopefully be a temporary change. My husband made the very UNselfish decision to give up something so we can save towards a retirement...something neither of us have saved for thus far). Then, my boss came up to my desk and said he was giving me a raise!! Please do not get me wrong. I do not mean that we want to tithe for something in return. My point of all of this is, put your faith in God and He will provide. He will take care of us and make everything work out how it should. I just needed to shift my focus and really, really put it in God's hands.

Sorry if this seems like rambling but, sometimes I just need to write it down. and, sometimes, I just need to share how God has touched my life at that time. I am not a perfect Christian...I am not always the person that God wants me to be but, I am trying. Trying to be a better follower, be a better wife, and a better mother. All it takes is a lot of prayer and a lot of faith.

So thankful..

Things I am thankful for today...

• little boy snuggles first thing when he gets up
• green grapes
• coffee...always
• sister love
• a boss who somehow just knew that today would be the perfect day to buy me an ice cream sandwich just because....it was delicious
• not freaking out (yet) about the calories, fat, sugar, etc in the above sandwich....baby steps, lo, baby steps. Food disorders are terrible, terrible things
• my Savior, Jesus, for loving my imperfect self...no matter what
• Hope.

Just for me...

back to blogging....but, this time...just for me. For a place to jot my thoughts. For a place to jot my struggles and wins. Blogging is a great place for a socially awkward introvert to talk...without really having to talk.

Dear today,

You are a whole new day. Filled with joy because any day I get to live is a day worth living. I will not let negativity take over any longer.

I can do all things through my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Lo